I Want To Talk Honestly About Love.
A different kind of Love.
A Love that gets talked about less in the mainstream, but is no less present in our hearts and minds.
Not just romantic love. Not just love in families and upbringings and friendships.
I want to talk about the pulse of love that exists in every cell of our bodies.
The ultimate thread of our existence, our challenges, and our very purpose.
You are not just meant to be loved, to experience love in your relationships and thoughts.
You exist to BE LOVE. You are a unique blueprint of what love is. The Great Love Story of Your True Self is unfolding in each of your present moments.
That's kind of intense, isn't it?
My bad. I guess I'm just... tired of skirting around it. Pretending it doesn't exist like some rebellious, teenager. And, I know what you're probably thinking:
How could love be at the core of everything if there's so much suffering and trauma in the world?
Most legit question ever.
Maybe you're also wondering:
What could a 34-year-old-childless-and-barely-successful dancer/waitress/divorcée possibly know about all-encompassing love, or any kind of love, for that matter?
I'm going to answer these questions the opposite way you're used to having questions instantaneously answered. You will not be prompted to "swipe thru!" or "sign up FREE" or "subscribe for 12.99/month!" before you receive the next crypto currency to gamble on, or the secret to a successful business, or the 5 superfoods that will change your energy exponentially. I'm just going to pose the questions and answer them...
I don't know how the universal core thread of love works. I'm on the same journey as you--to figure it out with the evidence I have, the experiences and feelings and resources unique to me.
What I do know is that I can sense it.
I can see it in the wind-ruffled tree leaves that float over my neighbor's fence like little green boats.
I can smell it in the pages of a borrowed book. In fresh ground toasted flax.
I can taste it in water, in salt, in kissed skin, in fruit.
I can feel it in my own heartbeat, my own breath, my own inner ocean.
I can hear it in songs and dreams.
Like anyone, I have spent a lot of time poring over past memories, choices, and relationships. Wondering what certain things meant. Curious what lessons lurked in the background of each moment. If I'm being honest, I couldn't find a single moment where Love wasn't present.
My theory is: the deepest discomfort and discontent of my life came out of denial. Denial of the Love that was already there. Or frustration with someone else's denial. Or plain old ignorance.
I have no answers to why so much trauma and fear and hellacious news exists in the world today. It seems more potent than ever. I'm really just trying to cope with it all, same as you. Not trying to ignore it. Sitting with it when I can. Announcing a boundary with it when I need to. Analyzing where it sits in my body instead of jogging circles around it with my mind. I have a lot of questions for this universal love. I plan to think them through and feel them out for the rest of my life.
You can read my musings, follow my different social accounts to watch me play and struggle and make art, and contact me directly to talk about it all. You can also see what I've been reading and get updates on my journey as a near-published writer and ghostwriter. However we interact, I hope you feel loved and worthy and deliciously present with no need for hustle or stakes or fakery. I appreciate you wholly just for being around.